Wasted
by glisana2
Summary: Ever since Dimitri left five years ago, Rose has been struggling to handle the pain. Over the years she's discovered that alcohol and sex help fill the void for a while. What happens when the Devil himself shows up at her front door? For older audience only. Mature themes
1. Chapter 1

I winked at the handsome guy with a packed wallet at the other end of the high-class bar. He smiled back and waved his hand, signaling the bartender over to him. After speaking a few hushed words and nodding in our direction, he sent the bartender away with just as quick a wave as had brought him there in the first place. The bar was one of the many extremely fancy (and expensive) Court had to offer, with glass walls and high ceilings. Basically, not wanting to be a mooch and have my friend pay for all my drinks, the only way I could get a little tipsy here was flirting with random strangers, which all were here because they had enough money to blow.

I smiled at my platinum blonde friend seated beside me. "And here comes another round, courtesy of the sucker over there." I gave the gentleman a flirty smile. Lissa rolled he eyes. "I can't take you anywhere without guys drooling over you, Rose." I laughed as the bartender arrived at us. "Being gorgeous is a bad habit of mine," I whisper. "Among many others."

When the bartender arrived he gave us the once-over and nodded his approval, not that it was really his choice who he delivered courtesy drinks to. "Would you ladies like a drink courtesy of the kind fellow over there?" He shifted his eyes to the man I had been flirting with from a distance. I put on a charming smile. "Of course. I'd like a Skittle Bomb and my friend will a Martini." I pointed to the three empty steamed glasses glasses to her right. "She's kind of boring," I whisper to him before tossing a smile to a bemused Lissa. "And _she's_ kind of drunk," She whispered.

"Got it," Said the bartender, heading back to the alcohol to mix our drinks. "This is your last drink, Rose." I turned and glared at Lissa. Her green eyes were sincere and I knew it was for my own good, but the booze in my bloodstream interpreted it other ways. "Your just jealous you can't get as many guys to order drinks for you as I can." I wagged my finger in her face as I swiveled my stool. "Your angry because I'm hot and your just pretty." I formed my red-painted lips into a pout. Just then the bartender brought us our drinks. "Here you are, pretty ladies." I bit my lip as I turned to him. He was a stout, bald man, who while at one time may have possibly been hot, was now old. Like old enough to be my dad. That fact seemed to have been lost upon me in my drunken state. "You think I'm prettier though, right? Prettier than her?" The man shifted his eyes back and forth thinking of how to answer. She was Lissa Dragomir, the last of her line, aside from her daughter, Mary. She was brave and beautiful and honest and kind. I was just Rose Hathaway, a semi-crazy alcoholic, avid drug user, and part-time guardian. I was merely a nice piece of ass.

"Your both pretty, Miss." The panic was in his eyes. If he chose me, Lissa might want to give him a run for his money- and having a mori that powerful on your tail was defiantly something to avoid. Of course, choosing Lissa while I was in my currant state would probably result in a high heel up his ass. A tough choice it must have been. Lissa finally spoke up from beside me. "Just ignore her," she sighed. "She's drunk." Then she turned to me. "Your obviously the hotter one, Rose. Any guy would agree. But we need to go." She drug me off of my stool just as I was taking a sip from my Skittle Bomb, which resulted in a large, orange flavored stain on my new dress. "Bitch!" I yelled at her. She rolled her eyes but continues to drag me from the bar. As I was pulled through the door and saw almost every person in the bar starring at us.

"Well, that was embarrassing," said Lissa with dismay. "Why can't you learn to limit your drinking? Your just like Adrian anymore!" I clenched my fists and my head swam. Maybe Lissa was right... Ever since Dimitri left that night, I lost control of myself. That thought sobered me up. What was wrong with me? I felt the tears burn my eyes. Lissa's features softened as she took a step closer to me and went in for a hug. I stepped back. "No, Liss. You don't understand. I loved him..."

"I know," she said, hugging me anyways. "But it's time to forget, Rose. Dimitri's gone. He's been gone for five years." When I didn't reply she hailed us a cab. Dan, Lissa's guardian sat up front. It still hurt knowing that I wasn't Lissa's guardian like her parents always wanted. Instead I got some asshole Moroi who still, five years later, had trouble keeping his hands to himself.

When we reached my apartment Lissa got out of the cab and walked me to the door. "No more alcohol tonight," she told me, hugging me goodbye I nodded, though not really meaning it. I mean, there was really no harm drinking at home. It's not like there was anyone here to worry about being an asshole too.

"I'm sorry about tonight," I told her, trying to get the guilt off my shoulders for ruining our Girls Night Out.

She shook her head, releasing me from her arms. "It's my fault. I should have kept a better eye on how much you had to drink." _Like a mother_, I though with disgust. It was directed at myself. Why couldn't I be a better woman? Why did I have to drink? I knew the answer though; it makes everything better. For a little while, at least.

We finished out goodbyes and Lissa pulled away in the bright yellow cab, heading back to her own house to see her husband and kid. And what was I going to do? Probably open up a bottle of Jack Daniels and cry myself to sleep for the fifth night this week. The saddest part? It was Friday.

I closed the front door behind me and stripped of my dress, throwing it a the pile of dirty clothes piled up near the computer desk. I really needed to do laundry. _Later though_. Still in my bra and panties, I walked into the kitchen and threw open the doors to my liquor cupboard. I decided to be classy, though. Instead of a glass of Jack, I got out a wine glass and filled it with Apothic Red.

Calling Adrian was the next thing that had to be done. He was my trusted drinking buddy. I knew he wouldn't tell Lissa. The way he felt about it was that 'he had his problems. I had mine. When we indulge in those problems, there's no point in the Perfect (Lissa) knowing about them.' That's how we referred to her during our drunken rendezvous. Perfect. That's what she was. She was skinny and pretty and classy and nice. She didn't have the bitter memory of her first true love leaving her for some raven-haired slut. She didn't _have_ to drink to fall asleep at night.

Adrian answered on the first ring. "Ah, Rose. What ever could you be calling me at this hour for?" He said in a light tone. I knew he had already had a few drinks. Probably more than that too. He really liked Speed. And woman. And the two at once.

"Want to come over?" I needn't add anymore. He knew what I meant. I was drunk and wanted to drink more. It's no fun to drink alone though.

"Be right over," he replied before hanging up, giving me no time to reply. I sat on the couch, throwing back a glass or two (or three) of the wine, waiting for him to arrive. Ten minutes later my doorbell rang.

I got up and answered. "Hey, Little Dhampir," Adrian said. He looked his usual disheveled, sexy self. His hair was made up in that 'bedraggled' look. Like he just took a tumble in the sheets. This time, though, I doubted it was caused by twenty minuted of careful styling.

"I hope I didn't tare you away from anything important," I told him as I moved aside so he could enter.

"Trust me, Rose; nothing could be better than seeing you like this." His eyes drifted down the course of my body. I looked over at the dirty clothes and saw my red dress sitting on top. I glanced down at my body. The tiny black undergarments hardly covered anything. I felt a little bit of a blush rise to my cheeks. I didn't really care all that much though. It wasn't like it was the first time Adrian had seen me like that. You do crazy shit when your wasted.

"So did you call me over to drink... or other stuff?" Adrian asked, walking closer and wagging his eyebrows. I simply shrugged. It was all in the same anymore. One almost always led to the other. Adrian smiled and kissed me. I couldn't help but kiss back. Even if I hadn't wanted to- he was a freaking amazing kisser. But I did want to. As with alcohol, sex was a good way to keep the pain off my mind.

We broke apart. "You're so beautiful," he whispered, bringing his hand up to brush a strand of hair off away from my face. Right then, I didn't even care he had already been with who-knows-how-many women already over the course of the night. All I knew was that he could ease the ache in chest where Dimitri ripped out my heart. Even if he couldn't fix it, he would help. At least a little.

Neither of us said we loved the other over the course of the night. We didn't talk about plans for the future. We didn't give titles. We just drank and pleasured each other. The same as every other night. And for the moment, that had been all right. Until my doorbell rang again the next morning.


	2. Chapter 2

It was ten. Way too fucking early. It was my day off, Goddammit. Nonetheless, I untangled myself from a sleeping Adrian's arms and roused my self from bed, grabbing my robe from the floor and wrapping it around my naked body.

Trudging down the stairs, I tried my hardest to ignore the raging hangover ravaging my brain. The doorbell rang once again when I was halfway down the stairs. When I reached the bottom I had to squint against the blinding sunlight pouring in from the windows. Somehow last night one of the curtains got ripped down.

I tied my robe tighter and pulled open the door, smoothing down my hair with my hand at the same time.

Standing in front of me was the tall, dark-haired, brown-eyed pain in the ass that caused my downward spiral to Hell. But damn, was he looking good. Dmitri's hair was loose around his face, just barley touching his chin. Underneath his signature duster he wore jeans and a tight-fitting gray tee-shirt. He looked almost nervous.

I resisted the urge to shut the door in his face. I felt the bile rise in my throat. Five years of hatred, loss, and drinking mixed with alcohol and drugs flowed through my veins, making me want to vomit on the spot. I swallowed those feelings, though, determined to keep my cool. To pretend like I was fine. Most of all, though, I hoped like Hell he couldn't see through my facade.

"Hi," I finally forced through my throat. Even I cringed at the scratchy, raw sound of my voice. I covered it with a cough, trying to play it off like I was getting sick.

"Can I come in?," He asked, looking down at me almost... _concerned_. I nodded, moving aside. It was only then that I noticed the panties I had left on the couch the night before. Also all the empty bottles of liquor and wine glasses. I closed my eyes and lent against the door. Can I not win... _ever_?

I saw him take in the scene. His eyes seemed to glass over. I would've given anything to be inside his head at that moment. Did he think I was that failed little runaway he had helped to keep in school all those years ago? Was I failure? Well, I knew I was- but did he?

"Crazy night last night?," he asked almost whimsically, a smile playing on his lips. Could he have really over-looked everything and only thought of this as some wild party. A once in great while thing? Could he really be that stupid?

"Uh, yeah. You could say that," I croaked, still fighting back the urge to punch him in the jaw. The whole thing was kind of like watching some guy who'd gotten a girl pregnant and left come back five years later to see how everything was going. He did this to me. He made me the way I was. And I hated him for it.

I walked briskly over to the couch and brushed off the panties, hoping he hadn't seen. "You can, um, sit down if you want," I said through clenched teeth.

He nodded and took a seat on the black leather loveseat catty corner to the big couch. "Thanks."

I wasn't used to playing 'hostess with the most-est.' Wanting to rip his guts out didn't really help with my hospitality either.

I took my spot on the couch. "So... Did you need something?" Just then footsteps sounded down the stairs and Adrian appeared in just his boxers, his hair in a disarray. He stopped at the bottom when he noticed Dimitri. "Belikov," he acknowledged. His voice had a nasty bite. I kind of loved it. That's the way I wanted to talk to him. I couldn't do that without throwing out my pride, though. Letting him know that he had won.

"Adrian," Dimitri said with a forced friendliness. "What have you been up to?" It was pretty easy to see how much he hated being nice to Adrian.

"Cleaning up _your _mess," Adrian growled, walking past us and into the kitchen. Dimitri sat confused, head angled to follow Adrian. When he emerged Dimitri spoke up again. "What?" But Adrian didn't respond and instead walked calmly back up the stairs.

"Crazy-ass," Dimitri muttered under his breath. I had good hearing though. _If only he knew_, I wanted to laugh. Drugs and alcohol can do that to a person. I knew from experience. Pain also helped too, and Adrian had plenty of that throughout his life. Some drunken nights he would tell me about how bad his father hated him. How he would beat Adrian until he bled than just go on off to bed like nothing had happened. Adrian's unbelievably large allowance his father's way of getting him to keep his mouth shut about everything. Dimitri was sort-of my 'Adrian's father.' Sure, he was really nothing like that, but he had hurt me so bad that the only way to get over it- even temporary- was to drink and smoke until I was numb some nights. That sort of thing helped the 'crazy' process along nicely.

"Sometimes," I agreed, not meeting Dimitri's gaze. We sat there in silence for a second.

"I came he for a reason," He finally said. I looked up. His eyes were intense. The same look he used to use in training or when actually fighting a Striogi.

"Then please enlighten me as to why, after five years, you decided to appear at my doorstep, insulting my boyfriend," I said no him, the hoarseness finally leaving my voice. And okay, so maybe Adrian wasn't my boyfriend. But I didn't want Dimitri to think he was my get-drunk-and-fuck buddy, even if it was the truth.

His eyes grew hard for a second before softening again. "I'm sorry, Rose." He looked down at his hands, a little like a kindergartener who had been caught drawing on the tables or stealing someone's snack.

I stood up."I don't give a shit about your apologies!" I had finally exploded, my anger releasing. I got a hold on the rope just in time to stop myself from hitting him. "Just tell me why you're here."

"I made a mistake!" He shouted, standing as I had. "I shouldn't have left!"

I laughed in a way that made even me want to cower. I sounded like a witch. _Or a crazy person_.

"Really? It's a little late for that, don't you think, Dimitri?"

His guardian mask slipped on, making all his features go neutral. "Yeah, I suppose you're right. I'll leave." Then he walked out the door- not even fucking slamming it closed. Nope, the Great Dimitri wouldn't slip up like that. He closed it nice and gently.

I wasn't until his car started and drove away that my anger slipped away, leaving a hollow, longing in my chest. All the love I had ever felt for his busted through the scab I had formed to keep it in, overpowering me. Doubling over and falling onto the ground, I hoped to God I hadn't fucked my life up again.

Then Adrian came down the stairs. "So, we're dating now, huh?" Of course he was kidding, but I really wanted to punch him through the damn dry wall at that moment. I also wanted to get high. Really, really high.


	3. Chapter 3

So I did. I spent the whole day with Adrian, working out my self-hatred through a variety of alcohol and had to open a window so the smell of drug enhanced smoke didn't stink up the house.

But even under the influence I couldn't shake the memory of Dimitri. His visit had only succeeded in opening up five year old wounds, making them bleed pity and hatred. A part of me wanted to him to hurt as bad as I had been forced to hurt- wanted him to feel the hate and loss I've been feeling the last five years. The kind of pain that made a person want to die.

The next morning Adrian was gone. I looked around my bedroom, thinking he's show up, but he didn't. Probably out with some Moroi whore, I figured.

I looked over at my alarm clock. It was already one in the afternoon. Then I checked my cell phone. A missed call from Aaron, my Moroi. The one I protected. The handsy one. There was also three missed calls from Lissa and a text message from Adrian; "_I went home_," it read. Well no shit, Sherlock. Like I didn't have eyes.

First thing I called Lissa back. I cared a hell of a lot more about what she had to say than what Aaron did. Lissa answered on the first ring. "Hey Sleepy Head, did you just wake up?" Her cheery voice rang around in my head, making my already aching head hurt a lot more. Blue danced in my vision. I tried to keep the wince out of my voice when I spoke.

"Yeah. It was a late night." On the end of the phone Lissa was silent, probably debating over whether or not she wanted to delve into that topic.

Apparently she decided not to. "I'm having a little get together tonight. You're going to come right?" She said instead. There was a hint of nervousness in her voice.

"Well duh," I replied. "Why wouldn't I?" I always came over when she had parties. Only working part-time left me pretty bored a majority of the time. I could put on a front for a couple of hours and act decent.

"Well," She started. I could almost hear her biting her lip. She was silent for a few seconds. "Dimitri's coming. I'm sorry." She was talking almost to fast for me to follow. But I did. Dimitri would be there. I had to go. I couldn't look weak. He wasn't allowed to know how much he affected me. I would go, and I would go with Adrian.

"It's fine, Lissa. I'll be there." I tried to play it of nonchalantly "Did you invite Adrian?" I asked.

"Not yet," she replied, question in her voice. "Well, I'll tell him if you're too busy. I've got to go, though. I'll call you later. Love ya, Liss."

"Love you too, Rose. Everyone should be there by six. Dress nice- it's important."

"Will do," I said. With that I hung up the phone. Next up was to call Aaron. But I didn't really want to- so I didn't. It was my day off, so he could fend for himself. Instead, I dialed Adrian's number. After a few rings he answered. "Hello?" In the background I could hear a girl giggle.

"I hope not interrupting you or anything, but I needed a favor from you." The giggling grew louder and I could tell it was coming from more than one person. _Sicko_, I thought. "Shut up!," he yelled away from the phone. The girls complied.

"I can only assume this favor has something to do with your visitor yesterday," He said, an amused glint in his voice.

"Possible,' I said smiling. "Lissa's having a little get-together tonight and _He's_ going to be there. I was wondering if maybe you could be my stand-in boyfriend." I was unsure if he would go for it or not, but finally he laughed.

"Ahhh, Little Dhampir, playing the jealousy card, are we? What's in it for me?"

"A date with me." I mean, sure, it was a staged date- but he'd been asking for it for years. Adrian laughed again. In the background I heard his front door slam shut. "Sounds good enough, I suppose." He replied. "What time should I pick you up."

"Well, it starts at six so get here by five-forty. And dress nice." Adrian agreed and we hung up. I hoped Dimitri was happy. No- actually, I hoped he was very, very _unhappy_.

There a knock at my front door before it opened. "I'm here," Adrian called from below. I took one final glace in the mirror, admiring the reflection.

Over the years I hadn't lost my figure. The alcohol and other stuff hadn't done any damage. I was still tall and curvy with a lot of cleavage, and on that was a black, cocktail dress that fell just above my knees. It was plain, no decorations. A scoop neck showed just enough cleavage to get the imagination going. The dress was fitted. Not skin tight, but it clung to my skin in places.

I left my hair down and applied my makeup. Smokey eyes and red lips. I looked good. Really good. This was confirmed when I walked downstairs. Adrian was sitting on the couch. When he heard me coming down the stairs he turned his head to look. "Damn," he said, eyes widening. "You look amazing." I smiled.

"You don't look too bad yourself," I told him smiling. He was rocking his usual 'just rolled out of bed' hairstyle and a nice, green silk shirt that brought out his eyes. He looked pretty good. What looked even better, though, was the little bit of a plastic bag I spotted sticking out of the pocket of his black dress pants.

"What do you got there?," I asked, nodding my head at his pocket. Adrian grinned and reached in, pulling out the baggie filled with white. "A treat for when we get home," he said, walking up to me and wrapping his hands around my waist. I wasn't going to resist and risk losing my shot at sweet release.

"Put it in that cabinet under the TV," I whispered in his ear. "Just in case." Adrian did as I said then we got into his fancy, black car and drove to Lissa and Christian's.

There were a few cars in the drive way when we pulled up at 6:07. Lights spewed from the windows, and I could see multiple forms moving around inside the large, white house. Adrian and I exited the car, hand-in-hand and walked up to the front porch.

Before we could even knock, a cute little platinum blond haired haired girl with glacier blue eyes opened the door. "Aunt Rosie!," Mary cried, throwing her arms around me. I smiled down at Lissa and Christian's daughter. She was cuter than I ever imagined anything that came from Pyro could be. I have no idea why Lissa trusted me enough to be the god-mother.

Once she released me, Mary smiled up at Adrian and hugged him too. Even at five, she had a crush on the great Lady Killer, himself.

We all went inside. Instantly, from the corner of my eyes I spotted Dimitri. Adrian must have too, because I felt his arm tense up around me. Dimitri looked over, catching my eyes. I turned away and looked at Adrian instead. He smiled down at me, then leaned down and kissed me. "Good job," I whispered.

"I know, I'm a great kisser." He smiled back at me and I rolled my eyes. "I wonder if Lissa has anything to drink here," he said. I knew what he meant and I couldn't help but wonder the same thing. "I'm going to go look," he said and walked off, leaving me alone._ Such a great fake boyfriend_.

Luckily, Lissa walked up before anyone else could. "You and Adrian are dating?," she asked, a worried look in her eyes. It was like she did trust me to behave while dating him. While it's not like a actually behave when I'm not dating him, I didn't blame her. Adrian was a bad influence. It was a good thing she didn't know the truth about our relationship.

"Um... yeah. Sort of." Lissa raised an eyebrow when I said this, but didn't ask me to explain. Instead she gave me the once-over. "You look really great tonight. You and Adrian actually do make a pretty cute couple."

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes and deny any relationship with him like I would have done a few years ago. "Yeah," I said awkwardly. The smile I gave wouldn't have convinced a blind person. "So," I said trying to change the subject, "what was the reason for this party tonight?," I asked.

Lissa smiled. "I really want to tell you Rose, but I promised Christian I wouldn't." I put my hand over my heart and pretended to be hurt. "That hurts, Lissa. It hurts bad."

She laughed at me. Then Mary came up and threw her arms around her. "Mommy," she said. "I'm hungry." Lissa turned her attention to the little girl. "It'll be ready in half an hour," she told her. Mary crossed her arms.

"But my belly's getting sad!" she cried. "It's yelling at me." I laughed and turned away, walking to find Adrian. Hopefully he had found something to get me through the night.

Unfortunately, as I turned the corner that would take me to the kitchen, I ran straight into a large mass. The mass was roughly six foot seven and had chin length brown hair and chocolate eyes that peered straight into my own and he grabbed my arm to help me keep my balance.

_Oh Dimitri. Fuck you. _


End file.
